Over the years I have seen (and heard) some very interesting things at weddings. Here are a few of those special, classy (and not so classy) moments.
At the emotional climax of the wedding ceremony, the groom tenderly takes the bride’s hand. Having received the wedding ring from the best man (also Australian) he moves to seal the union by placing the ring on the bride’s finger. It is a warm day and perhaps the bride’s finger is a little swollen. After a few seconds struggling to fit the ring on the bride’s finger the best man leans forward and says, in a loud voice so that the whole bridal party, both families and the many guests can all hear: “Aw come on mate… you’ve done it before!”
The bride has completed her hair and makeup and donned her bridal gown. She is making final adjustments to her tight fitting dress. The bride consults her bridesmaids on the way her cleavage is sitting, but, for whatever reason, she feels the need for another opinion. She turns to me, her photographer, and says “Am I even?” I pause and after the briefest possible glance, I silently nod in the affirmative. I tell myself, “There’s two. Not one, not three. That’s even.”
The bride is an elegant and attractive woman approaching sixty. I am capturing the last of the images prior to our departure for the ceremony. As I make adjustments for a portrait she turns to her young bridesmaid and says, “Perry is going to make me look seventeen!” Though I smile warmly and say nothing, I distinctly remember thinking, “Dear madam, I am a photographer, not a surgeon”.
Having completed her hair and makeup the young bride is awaiting the arrival of the bridal car. Her father enters the room. Said father takes a long, fond look at his beloved daughter and says, “Wow. You look great! The boys will be over you like flies on a piece of sh*t!”